Suffering from depression level 30

[StarCross]

[August 21, 2008]
My sister’s laptop crashed due to pirated software and video memory overload. It happened right after Microsoft decided to put a stop to pirated Windows XP by giving the illegal software the dreaded Black Screen through its updates. That's what happened to my sister's laptop. Aside from that my stupid sister kept putting more and more videos into its memory. It’s the fault of my father for not checking the software before buying and my sister for putting in too many videos. But the whole family of imbeciles put the blame on ME! They make up false stories and lying accusations just to put their hatred on me. My sister said that I wrecked the hardisk with my unnecessary forums. What nonsense! Only a complete idiot would hate forums. And how can typing forums in the Internet damage the hardisk? And my mother said that the memory suffered from an overload because I put too many things in the laptop, especially the DeviantArt pictures I collected which she says are useless. Yes, she says there's no benefit in looking at DeviantArt pictures. Well, that just proves what an idiot she is. Let's compare. The largest memory used by a DeviantArt picture file is less than 2 Megabytes (roughly 2,000 kilobytes). A video brought in by my idiot sister can take up 4 Gigabytes (roughly 4,000,000 kilobytes) of memory! Who is the one really overloading the system, huh? But they won't admit it! They're just too stubborn and too proud to accept the fact that they made a mistake. My parents and sister won't give a damn, as long as they make me the Scapegoat. In their brains there's no such thing as "their fault".

[December 2, 2008]
Still haven't recovered from fever 2 days ago, but still had to do work.

[December 3, 2008]
Sis spilled strawberry juice into the kitchen sink basin but Mom accused me of spilling rose syrup. Mom sprayed the whole bedroom with aerosol - with our drinking water still inside the room!

[December 9, 2008]
Cleaned the cat's litter boxes, washed the dishes, moped the living room floor, bought Nestum... and Mom says that all I did was sleep.

[December 19, 2008]
Mom says I'm useless – she says I'm shit! She says that I'm the most useless one in the family, forgetting Sis who NEVER does ANY work.

[December 21, 2008]
Some stupid cat dropped a picture frame, but Mom believed that it was me! She called me a liar and wishes that I'll die.

[December 22, 2008]
Mom started a conversation with me, made a mistake, got angry, then scolded and cursed me to die instead!

[January 1, 2009]
Mom's New Year Wish – for me to DIE!

[January 5, 2009]
Carrie picked up little Bobby, carried him to the top floor – and dropped him! I told Mom what happened, but she made up her own story! She said I put Bobby up there in the first place!

[January 6, 2009]
Mom and Sis complained to Pop about the Cheesey Wedges, but Pop got angry at me instead! He accused me of intentionally not finding the food so that he gets scolded!

[January 14, 2009]
When Mom said to me, “You ARE a scapegoat!” it means that she's confessing to the fact that she uses me as a scapegoat. She also said, “I regret bringing you to this world.”

[January 23, 2009]
Sis took out my diary, gave it to Mom, and Mom tore it to shreds.

[March 24, 2009]
After falsely accusing me of putting Sis' cup upside down in the fridge, Mom wished me to die for the 500th time.

[April 10, 2009]
Dad left us again for another 3 days. He won't give me any money and Mom said I didn't deserve it. I opened the house, cleaned the shit, washed the dishes and buy stuff for the family and THIS is how they repair me?

[April 13, 2009]
I spent the whole evening reading books, newspapers and maintaining the laptop BUT my parents accused me of playing videogames.

[April 17, 2009]
Dad will be leaving us for another 3 days. Mom told me to go to Hell just because I refused to pull out her white hairs from her head.

[April 20, 2009]
Mom describes DeviantArt as “tiada faedah” (no benefit)!

[June 16, 2009]
Dad will be leaving us again, this time for a whole month, starting from 23 June.

[July 1, 2009]
I woke early in the morning, opened the house, cleaned the cats' shit, replace their newspapers, change their drinking water, washed the dishes, cleaned the oven and the toilet, yet Mom says I did NOTHING. Later on, someone or something dropped one of Mom's plants in front. I was upstairs in my room at that time and the house was locked. I had to unlock the house to find out what had happened. I suspect it to be our dog, because she seemed guilty when I came to her. I had to clean up and put the plant back. But Mom accused ME of hitting the plant and dropping it! Isn't that a lie?

[Windra]

Dude ... this i all true, isn't it? If you were anywhere near NJ I'd tell you to get your ass over here so we could all get some coffee together ~

Hang in there, man. Just think : Get yourself a good paying job, and a soon as you turn 18 you can get the hell out of there, providing you find a cheap apartment/room for rent.

Or you could always call the authorities. That shit's child abuse, dude. They could get you out of there.

You don't deserve to die.
Not at all.
Screw what she says. Screw what they all say.
Always accusing yo like that, it will break you down pretty fast. Resist to the best of your abilities - we've got your back.


I'm finding it increasingly ironic that the lot of us at the UV have intense emotional/family/financial problems.

[Roose Hurro]

Yeah, that is ironic...

... I have two more UI checks to go, and I'll be out of an income, since no job has yet turned up, despite all the looking and resumes and applications... nada, zip, zilch, buttkis. If I don't find a source of income, I'll be out of a home in a few short months, once what little I have saved is gone. Not to mention all the creditors breathing down my neck. Not to mention... well, other things unpleasant. Makes it very hard to be creative, to keep up with my online stuff.

I could be out on the streets before summer...


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[StarCross]

Thanks, Windra. And sorry to hear that, Roose Hurro.

[Windra]

I'm always here to lend an ear. Not always on AIM, but I do reply to PMs, and phone calls (eventually). Ever need anything, don't hesitate. <3