Apologizing to the Wolf (Blue)

[Gaeva Winged Unicorn]

There seemed to be a real border between the Silvertree Grove and the rest of the Forest. It was the first time she had set actual foot in the white glowing place since it came to existance, and while she had seen it from a distance, usually from the sky, Meali was still surprised by the effect the place had on her. She had usually avoided the Lost Fields, not wanting to feel the sadness that lingered there, especially with her budding telepathic skills sometimes amplifying everything she felt, but she had still felt it's effects. And now this. This odd white glowing place that didn't feel sad at all anymore. But it also didn't feel like it was truly a part of Deep Forest either, something she couldn't quite pinpoint, but it felt different.

It also definitely looked different, and not just because everything seemed to be glowing either. The trees were different, smaller, probably not even related to the species in the rest of the forest. And all that white grass! For a moment it crossed Meali's mind to taste it, but then changed her mind. Something about eating something that glowed didn't sit well with her. It could also be poisonous for all she knew, but that didn't really matter to the filly, her own natural chemistry would neutralize it the moment she touched it anyway. But she still didn't want to taste it. Besides, that wasn't why she had come here anyway.

The lightblue filly looked down at her left front leg as she continued to walk through the Grove. A small trickle of blood could be seen from a small gash right below her knee. Actually, the gash itself was barely even visible itself, and would have been near invisible if it hadn't been for the few drops of blood that had come from it. But she was still heading straight for the healer's den. She'd had to ask for directions first, but a friendly lizard, or dragon, she wasn't sure what it was, had helped her out. Now all she had to do was head for the distant, yet familiar feel of Siltharyn's presence. While she had only been near her once, and then for just a relatively short time, it had felt like a lifetime at the time. There was no way Meali would forget the feel of the white wolf's presence. Unfortunately for the filly, the sense of her presence was associated with bad memories.

Backing her ears Meali tried to straighten up a little bit as after a good bit of more walking, she saw the large white tree. She'd already picked up on something else as well, something that was trying to calm her down. Meali had no idea what it was, and though it did soothe her, it also made her nervous as she did not know it's source. It felt like it should be trusted, but that wasn't enough for her anymore. Coming to a stop before the large tree, the filly looked up at it. It wasn't the source of either Siltharyn's presence, or the calming sensation, but she just wanted to take a look at it. She just wanted to stall. The silver glowing dragon scale dangled on it's green beaded string from her violet manes as she moved her head left and right, staring almost straight up into the branches, around her, anywhere but her actual destination.

The pyrelights had continously been moving around her, but after her initial fascination with them, the filly paid them no mind now, until one of them caught her attention from the corner of her eye. Turning her head towards it she saw it loop through the air, repeating the motion again and again, making her curious and stare at it. Suddenly the pyrelight stopped it's looping, and floated off. Straight for Siltharyn's den. Still staring, Meali now unexpectedly found herself facing the healer's home. Standing still for a just a few more moments the filly then took a deep breath and slowly approached, her eyes flitting to the blue glow next to the half open door for a moment, then back to the entrance itself. She spparoached, carefully stepping over a few of the thick roots, but stopped before actually reaching the door. She kept a body's length between herself and it. Her ears remained neutrally upright, and while she tried to look at ease, her muscles were tenser than they should be, her eyes a little too wide.

Clearing her throat, then a second time, she called out, "Hello? Is anyone home? Sil...Siltharyn?" She'd nearly tripped over her tongue saying the name, but it was out now. While knowing it wasn't true, she wished for a moment for the wolfess not to be there. Guilt flooded her, forcing her to swallow one more time to keep it down.

[Blue]

The forest truly was a magnificent place when you got use to the glow and the movement of the pyre-lights. There was one such creature who had been absolutely captivated by the forest of Silvertree Grove, the Healer and half-Tyrai wolf Siltharyn Lithnotain. Much had happened over the last few months and weeks. The wolf herself had changed, and spring time was just around the corner. Already she could smell growing things and life returning to the Deep Forest. The air around them was warmer then it had been, though the air of Silvertree always seemed slightly warmer then normal.

Siltharyn lived within the very center of this growing forest, or just a tree shy from it. Within the forest was one very grand tree, almost twice the size of the tree she herself lived under which was wide enough in the trunk that a large dragon could curl up within the wood comfortably. The tree next to her own was the tallest and grandest of all of Silvertree. It was the reason she had settled there, the tree itself almost seemed alive, and of a time when the Tyrai lived within the Darklands. This forest was truly a manifestation of that world, and Siltharyn felt truly at home here. Though exactly where she was at the moment was anyone's guess. She wasn't exactly 'at home', Siltharyn was doing her daily walk through the forest collecting winter berries to study.

The wolf was at a patch close to her home when Meali's voice touched her ears. Looking up Siltharyn closed the flap over her gathering bag and threw it over one shoulder, careful of her wing, and started to walk back to her den.

She was walking around the corner when she saw blue-tinged fur and smiled. It was the little filly that had been up on the Mountains. It seemed she was doing alright, but why was it she seemed so afraid? The wolf walked up closer to the tree before she paused. She didn't want to spook the youngling, but how would she let her know she was there? Well I suppose the best thing to do was to simply say hello.

"Hello Meali," she said in a soft voice to try and keep Meali from spooking, "How're you doing? I haven't seen you for a while."

((Bit of a short post Gaevasaur XD lol. But I'm horrible with 'hello' posts XD))

[Gaeva Winged Unicorn]

The wolfess' scent was all over the place, which really was no wonder as she lived here and would obviously move around the area as well. But it confused Meali's senses for a moment when her mind sensed her coming closer. For a reason she afterwards couldn't explain, the filly looked up at the high branches of the tree, searching for the white furry form she was looking for. Not an easy task to do when the tree itself glowed a similar color as the wolf, and even harder when she wasn't even there. So when the voice spoke up Meali was indeed startled, but only by the location. Quickly she lowered her gaze, and spotted the wolfess standing there. Had she been able to blush, she would have, but instead Meali just stared back and wondered how long the wolfess had been standing there. And whether it was even really her.

"Oh! Siltharyn?" It looked like her. Sort of. Meali took a hesitant step closer to her, then realized the voice and scent matched the wolfess, even if her appearance wasn't what she completely remembered. Relief made her visibly relax, though she didn't come any closer. Curiously she stared a moment longer, this time at the wings on Siltharyn's back. They hadn't seen each other in a while indeed!

"You look...different!"

Suddenly self conscious Meali wondered if that was in any way offensive, something she really didn't want to do right now, so she quickly continued talking, "Ehm, yeah, long time since...yeah. Uhm, I'm alright, I just..." She lowered her head a little and looked down at her left foreleg as she moved it forwards just a little, the small trickle of blood below her knee already drying, the wound it had come from barely visible anymore, even up close.

"I just wanted to ask if you could, you know, maybe heal this?"

It sounded lamer out loud than it did in her head, especially considering the "severity" of said wound. But hoping Siltharyn would buy her excuse for dropping by, the light blue filly whipped out her most innocent grin, and kept it up for all she was worth. It was worth a shot, and hey, it used to work on her dad after all!

[Blue]

She had forgotten how she had changed her form slightly.

Looking upon Meali Siltharyn realized that the young filly probably wouldn't recognize her at first. She chuckled slightly. "A bit different yes." She smiled sheepishly and walked a bit closer before setting her bag down by the door, turning back to Meali she was about to ask what she was doing there when Meali asked if she could heal the cut on her leg. Siltharyn didn't think anything wrong of it, cuts were painful things and it would only take her a few moments to help the young one to feel better. "Of course I can." Her voice was soft and her smile softer as she walked up to Meali and knelt down. Her paw-hands were carefully placed on either side of her leg as Siltharyn looked at the wound. It wasn't anything serious, the bleeding help to prevent infection, and the cut itself was quite shallow.

Reaching out with only a little energy the wolf healed the wound with a gentle movement of thought through the filly's leg. Finished, she stood up and grabbed her pack before lowering the door to her den. "You're leg is all fixed, but would you care to join me for a bit? I tend to lack company out here in Silvertree and younger company is often times less serious then some of the older variety I get." She smiled before entering the den itself which was cozy warm on the inside built with the tree. The tree itself was not damaged in any way, instead it was as healthy as ever.

Setting the bag down on a 'table' like structure, Siltharyn turned and looked up to Meali. "I have a bit of a treat for you if you'd like it Meali if you'd like one. Come in, it's kinda chilly out still."

[Gaeva Winged Unicorn]

Thankfully either the wolfess played along, or really didn't realize the cut was less than minor for her. Whichever it was, Meali was grateful, she wasn't quite ready to launch into the real reason she had come here just yet. Curiously she looked down as Siltharyn knelt beside her leg. She'd been healed by the wolfess before, but the circumstances had been completely different, and the wound anything but minor. Meali had also been slightly "distracted" as she prefered to think about it, and hadn't quite noticed how the healing process had been carried out. Besides, Meali had more than natural curiosity about magical healers anyway, as the mother she could barely remember had been one.

To her dissapointment it was over very fast, and besides some comfortable warmth in her leg as the cut was healed, she noticed very little. She'd been expecting fireworks and earthquakes, but thinking about it, that didn't really make any sense at all. Her head moved up along with Siltharyn as she stood up again. Meali's excuse to drop by sure expired a little faster than she had anticipated. Already her mind was scrambling for a reason to stay longer, when Siltharyn herself invited her to do just so. Smiling relieved the filly nodded, "Yes, I'd like that. I don't get to see many people either..." She stopped there, she hadn't come here to cpmplain about her friends and family after all. "And thank you for fixing my leg!" the filly added after a moment's thought, even if fixing wasn't quite the right word. She had been brought up to be polite after all.

Still relieved the filly followed after the wolfess, untill she suddenly realized the door, and the den behind it, was their destination. Slowing down she watched Siltharyn go inside, her own ears going back in aprehension. As the wolfess looked back at her again from inside the den, Meali quickly put up a smile, but it dripped nervousness.

"Ehm, I think I'll stay here," she said when only her nose had crossed the door treshhold, glancing around real quick, "I kind of...don't like...inside-places," she explained hesitantly. While this had been the case for a while now, this was the first time she had actually told anyone. It was a fear she had hoped would go away, but it had been months now, and if anything, it was getting worse. She didn't even enter the wide open caverns anymore to visit Deavin. She took another glance inside the den, which was filled with light and comfort and welcomed her to come inside, but with a suddenly racing heart and wings pressed tighter against her sides, she couldn't make herself take another step forwards.

"Sorry," she offered to the wolfess, hoping she wouldn't think it had anything to do with her home specifically.

The part of her mind which was still young and innocent, tucked away from harm, protected, wondered if that meant she couldn't get that treat either. She loved treats, especially sweet ones. Without thinking about it her eyes wandered around in search of said candy. The elves in the Village made really tasty ones, maybe Siltharyn bought some from them?

[Blue]

Working with something on a ‘counter’ like area, Siltharyn glanced back as Meali spoke up about being afraid to be indoors. The young wolf nodded, it made sense and there certainly was no reason to apologize.

”It’s not a problem at al Meali, sometimes I forget that not everyone enjoys a cozy den. Some are people who’s spirits must be free at all times.” Something a bit more had changed about the wolf—she seemed older. Turning, she picked up a few bows of wood to start a fire outside where she use to have one with Amarutu. The wolf took up her flint and tinder before walking outside with bowl in hand. Within was an assortment of berries and some other types of herbs. She set it down for Meali and explained. ”Unfortunately I don’t often buy actual sweets from the Village, but this is a mix of sweet flavored berries and herbs that taste similar. There’s mint as well if you’d like some, I have it growing in my den.”

The young wolf started to build a fire for the two of them, an area was clear on the ground with rocks surrounding it. Soon enough a warm fire was crackling next to them easing away some of the chill from the early spring air. Sitting down, Siltharyn motioned for Meali to join her.

Her eyes looked to Meali’s as she did this, a friendly smile on her face. ”Is there something on your mind Meali? You seem distracted. I’ve always been a good listener if you need me to be.”

[Gaeva Winged Unicorn]

Meali couldn't help but giggle nervously as Siltharyn spoke of free spirits. The wolf was closer to the truth than she probably realized Meali thought. That was exactly why she didn't want to enter. Wisely enough she didn't expand on this though, not wanting to compare her companion's home to a prison. Relieved she backed up a few steps to give Siltharyn space as the wolfess came outside with some items in her hands. Meali picked up some pleasant scents coming from one of them, but didn't see it's contents until the other had put it down. The filly had been staring at the wings as Siltharyn passed her, getting a close up view of them. They seemed normal enough, or as normal as a winged wolf could get, but at the same time strange, unnatural. Meali resisted the impulse to reach out and nibble on the feathers to get a better feel for them.

Following the wolfess, now a lot more at ease as they were to be outside, Meali lowered her head to stick her nose in the bowl. Yup, that was the source of the good smells alright! A smile appeared on her face, a real one this time, proper for someone her age.

"I don't mind! I love berries too, especially if they are big and juicy, and right before they start to wrinkle!" Meali glanced at the contents of the bowl again, considering how to devour such a nice treat in the best and most enjoyable way. And for free too! No elf or Blackback charging her anything for it, quite a treat indeed!

Obeying the wolfess motion Meali carefully but effortlessly picked up the wooden bowl, and moved to a spot facing the fire, sitting next to the wolfess at such an angle that they didn't have to look each other in the eye if they didn't want to, yet still be able to make easy eyecontact anyway. Putting the bowl down again the filly lowered herself to the ground and made herself comfortable. She had already completely forgotten her excuse for coming her, the poor excuse of a wound on her leg which was now completely gone from existance. Her eyes were on the bowl, as an ear went to Siltharyn when she spoke again.

Hestitating for a moment Meali kept her eyes on the treat, almost as if she hadn't heard what had been said. The fire crackled a few times before the filly finally raised her dark purple gaze, and stared back, her face almost devoid of any expression or emotion.

"Yeah..." she softly breathed after she'd kept her silent stare up for a while, then looked away again, her eyes this time on the dancing little flames.

"Remember that time? When we were...when we were up in the mountains?" Meali spoke softly, sounding like it was an event that could easily have been forgotten, while making a vague motion with her golden horn in the general direction of the Boundary Mountains.

"Do you ever think of that time?" Meali continued, still looking away, hesitating. Then turned her head back far enough to glance at the white wolfess, "Do you remember what...what you were thinking? What you thoughts were up there?" The filly's ears betrayed her discomfort as they shifted a bit to the sides, her eyes looking larger than they did a few moments before with a touch of fear. The bowl was temporarily forgotten.

[Blue]

She could almost feel the mood lift as she brought the bowl filled with sweet tasting herbs and berries for Meali. The young wolf smiled as she sensed the change in her young friend. The fire was warm and the company pleasant. There couldn’t have been a better way to spend an evening.

However, a sense of weight settled over the two of them, she looked over to Meali as the youngling began to speak. She nodded slightly. ”I do.” She said quietly as Meali asked her if she thought about that time up in the Mountain. The young wolf listened quietly as she folded her wings comfortably, looking over to Meali as she spoke.

And now she understood.

Meali was regretting whatever it was she’d been thinking during that situation, that had to be it. Otherwise why would she have asked such a pointed question? The young wolf turned and looked into the fire, the glow of the fire casting a soft shade of red and orange onto her fur as she shuffled her wings slightly, spreading one out towards Meali in a small gesture of comfort, but did not touch her. She would wait to see how Meali reacted.

”There isn’t a moment that has gone past that my thoughts haven’t passed over what happened on that mountain side. And though it changed me, perhaps in the end there was no choice to be made really.” She looked over to Meali. ”I remember thinking, why me? Why couldn’t it be someone else? Why was I the one that was made to suffer?” She paused, looking back over to the fire. The amount of calm that was in her voice was unreal. She’d changed so much. After what had happened during the war, what changes had come down over her since then. Not just on outer appearances, but inside. She was more then Siltharyn anymore.

”They are not thoughts I am proud of, but at times like that how else could anyone be expected to think? No one is ever happy when some terrible thing happens to them, and though they normally mean well they sometimes wish it had happened to someone else.” She gently prodded the fire and threw on another stick watching as the sparks flew up into the air. She watched on, feeling a light breeze moving through her fur. There was a lot to be said about growing and learning. That sometimes you discovered a part of yourself that you aren’t so proud of, that you want to pretend it doesn’t exist. The part that makes you feel dirty, horrible, and dark. Wishing ill on another was one of those traits that every creature possessed, though some found it easier to hide then others.

The wolf looked once more over to Meali, her eyes soft and forgiving. She didn’t wish for Meali to feel the need to apologize for how she had felt up there. She was young, and thrown into a situation that was not her fault.

”Sometimes we think those thoughts because we’re just scared though, am I right? Would you say I was wrong, or that anyone was wrong, for thinking such things?”

[Gaeva Winged Unicorn]

While her gaze had been averted at first, carefully avoiding direct eyecontact, Meali couldn't help but slowly turn her eyes towards Siltharyn as the wolfess spoke. A feeling of shock slowly spread over her as she listened, her ears slowly backing and her eyes growing even larger with disbelief. Siltharyn had felt it too? She'd had similar thoughts? The filly couldn't believe what she was hearing, the words almost echoed her own thoughts at the time. She'd wondered the same things, had similar wishes. And it was normal? Being bad was normal?

The light blue filly didn't answer Siltharyn right away, just continued to stare at her for a little while longer while she was lost in thought. Relief was right there, ready to be embraced, but Meali hesitated. She'd walked around with that guilt for a while now and while horribly tempting, she couldn't just shake it off that easily. While she hadn't moved away from the outstretched wing, the filly's bodylanguage made it seem as if she had. Being embraced by a wing was for foals who needed comforting, and she didn't feel like one right now. Not one who deserved such kind treatment from the wolfess anyway. She blinked once and realized she was still staring at her. Would Siltharyn still think it wasn't wrong for thinking such thoughts when she knew Meali's thoughts had revolved around her?

"I wanted them to hurt you," she blurted out, horrified she was actually saying it out loud but unable to stop herself, "So they would leave me alone! And then...then they really did hurt you, I saw it and...and..." Meali's throat tried to close up on her then, but after having confessed this much the filly just had to get it all out. She struggled to continue, "And...and I felt glad that they did..." That's when her troat really did make it impossible to continue and only an unintelligible sound came out when she opened her mouth to say more, explain, even though she didn't know how. She couldn't leave it at that though, it made it sound like Meali was...bad!

The filly was sure Siltharyn must see it that way and suddenly she felt terrified. It didn't matter that the wolfess had just explained it was natural, that she'd had similar thoughts, that it was a response to fear. All that mattered was that she felt she'd done a horrible thing, betrayed the one who had saved her somehow and had just confessed she'd been happy about it. Her sudden fear wasn't inspired because she'd seen Siltharyn strike down Rishcath or because she was talking to an adult, but because Meali was afraid the wolfess would see her as she saw herself lately: as something not worth saving.

"I..." Meali croaked, wanting to apologize, do something to show she didn't mean it that way, that she didn't feel that way anymore, "I was scared..." she finally said, then winced as she realized that was exactly what Siltharyn had just all explained. She looked away, her eyes finding the flames once more. "It was wrong of me." It had been wrong to be scared. She was a whole two years old already after all, almost three! That this was young by anyone standards including her own species didn't register. Nor that Siltharyn was older yet had admitted to having had thoughts she wasn't proud of herself. Meali felt old and hurt, but mostly scared. She braced herself.

OOC
Like it was going to be that easy?