A Simple Date

[Gaius]

"It was a dark and stormy night," is a cliched beginning to any bit of writing, so it's lucky that this one avoids that pitfall. Or at least has the decency to contain the toxic phrase in quotation marks. It's not even accurate to this beginning. For one it wasn't night. Or at least not definitively night. There weren't any celestial bodies to signify it in that place, and time didn't quite mean the same thing, besides. It wasn't stormy, either. Or at least not in the way most would define 'stormy.' Certainly, travelers could be swept away by an otherworldly gale -- a gale composed of other worlds, to be clear -- but this was a rare occurrence, and tended to happen only when this was the subject of the story in question, which it wasn't. Unless it later turned out to be.

... Anyway, to be fair to the quote, it was dark in that place. Not utterly so, but enough to leave those who walked through it unsure of the surroundings. Fortunately, those who walked through it didn't need to be sure of them. They just needed to know where they were going, or where they were going just needed to set itself in their paths. The traveler of the not-necessarily-night technically fell into both groups. He had no clue of his exact destination -- which was polite enough to set itself before him -- but he knew his purpose, alright. He was going on a date.

Some distance off, insofar as distance meant anything in that place, there was a lamp post. It wasn't exactly bright, but it created a small island of visibility, floored by what looked like a town square. An elderly gentleman in a jacket and bowler hat leaned his back against the lamp post. One could almost swear one saw a little bubble poking out of his nose. It broke abruptly, along with the silence. The old man looked up calmly, apparently used to sudden wakings. He turned his eyes in the direction of the sound, a distinctive clip-clop. The traveler stepped into the lamp's glow, revealing himself. He was a rather cheery-looking donkey-person, lightly clothed. The old man didn't bat an eye, but did tip his hat in greeting.

The traveler's face flickered a moment, and then gained a smile with a hint of nostalgia. "Well. You're a surprise." A pause too short for the old man to answer came and went, in which the donkey's ears drooped and his smile shrank. "No, wait. You shouldn't be. They'd floated you as a pAWWsib-- A possibility." He shook his head, but retained the smile. "I guess Gaius just didn't want to come up with something of his own."

"Oh, I don't know," the old man mused, scratching at his chin, "The opening bit wasn't bad."
"Annnnd of course he writes you to say just that."
"That doesn't make it wrong, of course." The donkey rolled his eyes. "Still, your concern is reasonable. I hope this thread doesn't devolve into self-indulgent madness without a hint of a fourth wall."
"You mean like Chat?"
The elderly fellow widened his eyes and mock-gasped. "Worse than I'd feared."

The traveler chuckled and the old man's eyes smiled. "Nice to know Gaspar has a sense of humor."
"Heh. I didn't hear that much, back when I went by that name."
"Ah. That's a shame." A moment later, the donkey put on an impish grin. "Well, maybe it wasn't true, back then. So, to correct myself: Nice to know The Guru of Time Formerly Known As Gaspar has a sense of humor."
The old man rolled his eyes upward as he gave a strained expression, but the corners of his mouth had crinkled upward. "That was terrible."
"Thank you," came the answer, alongside a light bow and a swish of the tail.

"Anyway, I think this interlude has gone on long enough. The other star of the show should arrive soon." A note of amusement entered his voice. "Provided she hasn't already."
"Ah?" The long ears perked. "Er, has she?"
"Could be. It's also possible she'll come crashing in on the back of a blindingly pink giant beetle, with strong words against visiting Minneapolis in the fall."
The donkey chuckled again. "Sounds like her." He began to look around the little area, ears swiveling and twitching.

[Luxon Cobrat]

So it wasn’t a dark and stormy night. That knocked out one idea for how Entropy might go about making her entrance. Sure, it appeared to be dark enough, and she could probably make it storm, but… well, it was a few days too late for that anyway. Besides, she would have had to rent a chariot, hired some guys to wear some specially-designed armor, and really just make too much of a production out of the whole thing. And someone else in the Dark Princess industry had done it fairly recently anyway, so nobody would have really thought it was all that original.

As she tried to think up another idea, the succubus began to realize that she didn't really know where she was at the moment. She was standing on some sort of nondescript platform floating in an endless void. She wasn't really even sure how she could see anything, as there wasn't any visible source of light as far as she could tell.

Around that time, she started hearing a pair of voices. One sounded like it belonged to Devon. The other... she didn't recognize. Hoping to find where they were coming from, she followed them to the edge of the platform, peaked over, and saw the donkey-fey talking to some old fellow under a light pole. Her immediate reaction was to wonder why they were standing on the bottom of the platform. But then, maybe she was the one standing on the wrong side. Their side did seem a lot better-decorated, while hers looked like something its designers just threw down and forgot about, as if they didn't expect anyone to ever see it.

But that was the problem with free-floating platforms. She always picked the wrong side to stand on, especially in realms where she couldn't tell which direction was supposed to be up. Quickly, she pulled her head back out of view before anybody could notice her embarrassing mistake.

She had to make her entrance now or never, though. Rising off the platform and righting her orientation, she tossed a small fireball up and then darted after it. With the right timing, it would explode just before she flew though it and emerged before the eyes of the onlookers, making it look like she had teleported in quite stylishly.

Instead, the fireball flew too far before it exploded, and the force hurled Entropy unceremoniously down to faceplant onto the platform.

"I'm okay..." she declared in an unsteady voice as she staggered to her feet. "I meant to... uh... There was a fly."

[Gaius]

Elsewhere, an entity served as a convenient launching point for a writer quite unsure what to do. It had mixed feelings about its rest, this creature. It dreamed of conflict, of involvement, of activity of any kind. But so much as it longed for these things, it feared them, too. Such beings exist in the space between events and last only as long as their delicate bubbles. They are known as Lulls. The ones who named them argue their fancies help shape things yet to come. However, it was rare for such an entity to realize it was dreaming, much less form an opinion about that. But what more could it do than dream?

In an instant, quite a lot: the dream and the real became one and the same. The Lull failed to notice for a time, which was only natural. That sort of thing shouldn't happen, after all. But it had. A fascinated researcher might suggest -- from a safe distance -- that the space between events had grown so large as to rupture, the Lull falling through the cracks. Ignorant of any of this, the entity slowly grappled with what it was to do.

Its awareness chanced on a platform. It sensed the settling embers and hasty excuse of its beginning. It sensed the perplexed, amused response of its end. The Lull lurked toward both.

- -- ---- -------- ---- -- -

Devon stared. His mind put together a dynamic entry, and a fly that never saw it coming. A smile split his muzzle before his laugh filled the emptiness of the void. The older gentleman had learned better poise. Also, to hide unsafe expressions behind the 'stache and in bowing. "Well-done, dear girl. We commend you on your entrance." The donkey-fey was nearly done laughing, some wheezing brays having applied the breaks (the brayks, I suppose). "Big-time," he agreed with a chuckle.

"Uh, sorry for laughing." He offered Entropy a hoof up, much as she didn't need it. "Just... Figured you'd pull some crazy stunt on the way in, but I didn't expect that." His ears were still ringing from the explosion. "Full of surprises, aren't ya?" Devon smiled a moment, before he recalled something. "Ah! Speaking of, I--" And then realized a potential hitch in his plan. His hoof went right back to that familiar region on the back of his neck. "Uh... This may not be your thing. And er, that's fine if it's not. Just thAWWt, well, date-thing, so..." He coughed. "If you're not a fan, mmmaybe it could be... target practice? ... Not that you need it! What with the... fly I... couldn't hear buz-- Anyway!"

With a shake of his head, Devon held out his forelimbs and put forth his will. Balanced between the hooves, something took form. After a first look of airy glass, colors and proper substance filled in the bundle. "Here." The blushing donkey-boy presented the succubus with his small bouquet. A nervous tail flicked into view, apparently with a bow tied just before the tuft. "And, uh... Hi."

((Hm, no, still don't think I can apologize enough for the delays, Lux. ^_^o Sorry, man. Really so))

[Luxon Cobrat]

Entropy tried not to look embarrassed when she heard the laughing, as that would possibly undermine her excuse about the fly, and would certainly destroy any plausibility that she had in fact intended to take her spill as a... way of lightening the mood. That was it, of course. One doesn't want one's company feeling overly nervous and awkward on a first date, after all. As she took Devon's hoof, not really needing the help but appreciating the thought all the same, she began debating with herself on how best to go about implying that explanation. But before she settled on a plan, Devon produced (in a very literal sense) a bouquet of flowers for her.

The succubus had at first been worried by the donkey's stammering about the gift, but once she saw it, she brightened and shouted an excited "Nice!"

Accepting the bouquet enthusiastically in one hand, she reached up with the other and removed the tie from her ponytail, letting her hair fall loosely over her shoulders. She then whipped her tail around (her actual tail, not the previously-mentioned hair configuration) and used the hair tie to attach the bouquet to its end.

"It really is hard to find good tail accessories these days," she commented. "It's like nobody even thinks about there being a market for it."

Then she noticed Devon's tail swish out.

"I do like yours, though," she chirped. "Simple, but it has that traditional look to it."

[Gaius]

Devon visibly relaxed at the acceptance. He hadn't even realized how tense his shoulders had been. Like he'd been lugging around a heavy load. Probably a very heavy load; narrative associations being what they were, he could probably haul around half a dining room set, if need be. Not that he hoped he'd ever need to test that party trick.

Which was just as well; the donkey's magician-like maneuver seemed to be enough of a hit. Though a puzzled expression crossed his face at what exactly his date was doing with the bouquet. He blinked a few times before a smile split his face. Devon certainly hadn't expected that use out of it, but it brought a realization. If he was meeting her at her home, there might be a vase, but had he expected her to carry the flowers all night long? Of course not, because his thoughts hadn't gotten more sophisticated than 'flowers are a pretty date thing.'

And, while tail ornaments were hardly his expertise, Devon agreed it worked pretty nicely on her. As for markets on such things, "Er, maybe they don't. I kinda didn't think about it until--" He paused and rerouted the true term. "-- Until recently." If a cat walks into a glass door, it behaves as though it meant to. Between her entrance and his comment, the succubus and donkey were doing much the same that night. After all, it was reasonable Devon wouldn't have considered decorating a tail until he'd gotten one himself.

On which note. "My what?" After a blank look, he turned back around and recognition -- and a mild blush -- dawned. "Oh, that. Ehehe, sorry, just... forgAWWt I was wearing it." He cleared his throat. "Was feeling kinda... silly with it, but figured that was just another drop in the bucket." He decided he'd keep the reason he was wearing it to himself, and gave a small smile instead. "But, um, glad you like it. The flowers suit you, too." Admittedly, a part of Devon's brain began wondering loudly if 'traditional' meant 'Eeyore reference lawl!' but he did his best to stifle it. Like the Felcaeri had even heard of Winnie the Pooh. ... Then again, it was Entropy...

"Amusing as the tail talk is," remarked the gentleman in the bowler hat, "I cannot imagine a square with a lamp post and an old man is the scene you meant for your evening."
"Uh, right! Point. Later, then!" A pause. "Um, d'you know where we should..."
The old man chuckled and gestured broadly into the dark expanse with a shrug.
"Thanks...?" The donkey's ears dipped a bit.
"Just start walking. Think about it, and the place will find you."
Devon didn't bother to ask if the old guy meant it the other way around. Though thoughts of senility probably should have struck him.

Instead, he turned back to Entropy. "Er... Guess we should get this show on the road." He gave a look out into the nothingness. "Er, or whatever it is," he added with a goofy smile. Devon started for it, distinctive clip-clop marking his steps again. "Oh, and... any ideas you had in mind for where or what we should do on this? I'm kinda blanking." The void stood ready, a canvas for virtually anything.

[Luxon Cobrat]

Entropy stared out into the awaiting void - a canvas of unlimited potential, a portal that could lead anywhere they desired. Unfortunately, Entropy really didn't have anything in mind other than a few vague, general ideas. Her only plan had been to cross all the bridges when she came to them.

"Or burn all the bridges when I cross them."

So she had to think for a minute. And her RPer had to think for three months.

"How about... a mountain?" she finally asked. "With, like, a cliff. A cliff with a little village built into the side. Those are cool."

And that was that.

[Gaius]

"That does sound cool. Maybe with a village festival or something going on?" Devon felt he had only hesitated a moment, but it felt like the longest of his life. He felt vaguely annoyed about that. Almost as though his RPer had seen Lux's three months and raised him eight-and-two-thirds. It distracted him for a bit from the other thing. "Wait, what was that about burni--"

The former human made a sound -- possibly a bray, likely just a "GLAK!" or some variant -- but he might as well not have. The couple had a few short moments of seeing the small mountain hurtle at them as it whistled down through the nothing. Then the whistling gave way to a CRASH like a titan spiking a football. The thing landed just a few meters before them, and the vibrations threw the wide-eyed donkey to the ground. And it was the ground: the mountainous seed had sprouted the roots of local surroundings in the vicinity. These had coalesced into a convenient path below them, and an early evening sky above. Furthering the plant metaphor, a charming blossom hung near the top: the invoked village against a cliffside, decked out in bright colors.

A little time paused and Devon's ears continued to ring. A bird chirped, but went unheard. "... Okay!" he said, louder than strictly necessary, "Good to get the blood pumping that way, I guess. Bet the horrers wish they hadn't missed it." The donkey grinned at the succubus. "Shall we?"

[Lanadyr]

”All right, guys, here’s the situation.” Bottle looked over her two-person support team as she paced a bit on the cafe’s furnished, patio-style roof. She had arranged for this charming cafe to exist only as soon as she knew which pocket sub-plane Devon and Entropy were heading for, but even on such short notice, she had managed to secure the best view in the entire village. “Our two lovebirds have just appeared at the docks, and they’ll be passing by here in a little while, ready to sit down and relax and enjoy the sights of the festival from this spectacular vantage point. I need everyone to get dressed and get into their positions, now!”

”I don’t generally wear clothes. And to what positions are you referring?”

”Bottle, I think this would go much more smoothly if you tell us what your plan is.”

”What?! I already did! Before we left, remember?”

”I don’t believe ’Hey guys, follow me, this’ll be awesome’ conveyed the full breadth and depth of your planning.”

”Oh, picky, picky, picky…” Bottle stopped her pacing and faced Orb and Tourniquet. ”Look, this is real easy. All we’ve got to do is make sure that this will be a night these two will never forget.”

”May I ask why, exactly, we’re interfering with their evening together?”

Tourniquet turned to Orb. ”It would be a kind gesture, and a worthwhile end in and of itself, provided we’re discreet.” The hellmount then turned back to Bottle. ”But this seems a rather convoluted scheme for a kind gesture. Why are we helping these two individuals, and why here and now?”

”Oh…well…that’s…sort of…complicated. I mean…” Bottle scratched the back of her head with her hand-tines as she looked at the ground for a moment, then returned her gaze to her friends. ”Look, Devon was the first person I met after landing in the Deep Forest. He helped me out a lot. I’m trying to return the favor. He’s also a fey, and there aren’t a whole lot of us running around back home," And did I just call the Deep Forest home? Huh... "so I feel like we’ve got to stick together a little bit. And…” Bottle sighed. ”And…I suppose, deep down inside, I’m a hopeless romantic, and I think the whole idea of this date is cute as hell, alright?”

”Ah. Now it all makes sense.” Tourniquet nodded. ”I suppose I owe Entropy myself, after a fashion…”

”To bring this conversation back to the here and now, as time appears to be of the essence,” Orb turned from Tourniquet to Bottle, ”what would you have us do?”

”Well, Orb, your job’s pretty straightforward. I need some someone to play some music in the background, and you know how to drum.”

Orb tilted her head a bit to the side in a slight consternation. ”I’m not sure drumming is what is needed here. Wouldn’t a violin player be more appropriate? Perhaps an accordion player…”

Bottle calmly waved away the concerns with a casual flip of a metal hand. ”Oh, you’re not giving yourself nearly enough credit, Orb. Just play something slow and quiet. Nothing too complicated. There are conga drums, a pair of bongos, a steelpan, and a djembe sitting on the stage downstairs, so grab whatever you want and bring it up here. Also, I’ve got an enormous taiko drum set up for you in the town square for after-dinner entertainment to complement the upcoming fireworks display, if they’re interested in watching it.”

Orb slowly straightened her head as she spoke. ”My, that’s…comprehensive of you.”

”Hey, if you’re going to do something, do it right, y’know? Oh, and I’ve got some tasteful dresses in the back room you can change into, so you can, like, not look like you’re going to a funeral and stuff.” Bottle then turned to Tourniquet. ”And as for you, I’ve got a lovely two-person cart in the side alley we’re going to be hooking you up to if they want a ride around the festival.”

Tourniquet ground his teeth. ”I find that to be a bit…demeaning…”

”Well, if it makes you feel any better, that’s only the second thing you might be doing. Right now,” Bottle walked up to Tourniquet and placed a tall, white, puffy hat on his head, “I need you to get downstairs and act as tonight’s head chef.”

”Head…” Tourniquet’s blue eyes widened. “Bottle, I eat rocks. I don’t know the first thing about cooking.”

”Oh, that’s not a problem. I’ve already got a crack team in the kitchen. I just need you to keep them, uh…focused.”

Tourniquet’s eyes narrowed with skepticism.”What do you mean by ‘focused’?”

”Well, like, for example, I need you to make sure that the one robot uses his ‘essence of pure flavor’ on everything that comes out of that kitchen. Also, there’s this chef running around on top of the giant hamburger ingredients, and you need to keep him stocked up with pepper at all times so he can defend himself against those things that are always chasing him around. Oh, and there’s that two-dimensional one, if you can convince him to not just toss things around randomly using his frying pan, that would be great. And in the name of all that is good and right in the world, please keep that one guy that goes ‘bork bork bork’ all the time away from the blunderbuss!”

Tourniquet set his jaw thoughtfully. ”Hm. That kitchen does sound…entertaining, at least.”

”That's the spirit! Now let’s get on this! We don’t have much time, and I’ve still got to get changed into my cute little hostess outfit!”